Giftedness 101: Do you have a gifted child?

Do you have a gifted child, or think you might? Gifted children tend to be very inquisitive, and have an almost innate sense of the world around them. Many have a seemingly insatiable need for information. At times they can be seen as “behavior” problems in school, generally a result of being bored and having a lot of energy! As with any other subgroup, individual gifted children vary from one another in temperament, areas of passion, levels of motivation, sensitivity, and intensity. They can be inspiring and exhausting.

 

While there is no agreed-upon definition for giftedness, an individual with an IQ of 130 or higher, or who scores on the 98^thpercentile or higher is generally considered to be gifted. Interestingly, when a child tests two to three standard deviations below the norm there are numerous educational accommodations available. A child who tests two to three standard deviations above the norm is no less different from the norm. It logically follows that their educational needs are equally different. 

If you suspect your child is gifted you will want to pursue testing. Although school districts are required to offer testing to students residing in the district (regardless of school setting e.g., public, independent, parochial, home) when a learning difference is suspected, they are not obligated to offer IQ or above level testing when giftedness is suspected. Generally, a psychologist will be able to perform the testing your child will need. It is crucial to find someone experienced with gifted children. Word of mouth within the gifted community is often the best source of information for local and regional recommendations.

Some schools address giftedness more effectively than others. Parents of children who test well above the norm are likely to need to provide some accommodation at home. Many parents of gifted children “afterschool,” meaning they offer additional learning opportunities at home. Children may work with a parent or tutor at an advanced level in an area of interest, they may attend a camp or “super Saturday” program with other gifted children or may pursue self-directed study.

 

Contrary to popular belief, gifted children are not always top of their class, courted by the best colleges, or headed for the most lucrative careers. Giftedness is often accompanied by sensitivities, intensities, and/or learning differences that can result in difficulty in functioning in the world and/or processing academic material. When a child is gifted and has one or more learning differences they are said to be “twice exceptional” or 2E. Obtaining appropriate accommodation for these children can be difficult because in some (if not all) areas they function at, if not above, grade level. It is crucial that parents advocate for their child in the school setting.

 

Many gifted children are homeschooled for at least a portion of their academic careers. The decision to homeschool can be daunting. The sense of being overwhelmed only increases when the student is gifted or 2E. Parents can take heart in knowing there are many families who successfully navigate homeschooling gifted children. A strong online community (offering online classes for gifted students, parents willing to share their BTDT experiences, and issue-specific elists), truly helpful books, and other resources assure that parents will find the support and guidance they need. An important key to making this transition is to know where your child is with various academic subjects. Making this determination will likely involve the need for independent testing, which can be expensive, but is invaluable in assuring your homeschooling efforts are reaping maximum benefits. 

 

At a certain point, parents relinquish the role of instructor and adopt that of facilitator. When this happens is determined by the child’s level of giftedness, her area of passion or ability, and the parent’s comfort level with that area. While this transition happens with most parents and children, with gifted children it occurs earlier, sometimes much earlier. In these instances, the parent’s role as facilitator is crucial because the child needs information and experience to learn, but cannot access those opportunities for himself. It takes a village, a very well educated and compassionate village, to provide for the unique needs of a gifted child. 

Emotional development of the gifted child is often overlooked. Gifted children often have not just more intellectual ability, but more everything- sensitivity, quirks, etc…. Most have a strong justice orientation and can become consumed with issues of fairness and equality. They can feel defeated by their inability to solve the world’s problems…now! They can become overwhelmed by frustration due to perfectionist tendencies. It is important to remember that despite their academic prowess, gifted children are indeed children and need time for play, guidance regarding daily life and social interaction, and lots of love and support.

Most gifted children are aware from very early on of being different from their peers. It is important to identify and acknowledge that difference. By discussing their giftedness with them you will not be inflating their egos or telling them anything they don’t already know on some level. Because the world is not always kind to outliers, it is crucial that gifted children experience unconditional love for who they are at home. Does this mean they get to run the household without discipline or rules? Of course not. What it does mean is that parents of gifted children are called on to choose their words carefully. Gifted children are generally more sensitive than others and often pick up on subtlety in an uncanny and unanticipated way. It is important to avoid personal attacks and focus on the behavior that is in question. Many gifted children have an intensity about them. It is important that through discussion and modeling parents teach their gifted children to manage their intensity in a positive and socially acceptable manner.

 

 

Like all people, a gifted child needs to find true peers i.e., people with whom she can be herself and feel loved, accepted, and heard. Watching a group of gifted children play and learn together is a moving experience, especially for parents whose children have struggled in mainstream settings.

 

Embrace and enjoy your child and his giftedness with all of its ups and downs, twists and turns. You are the parent he was entrusted to, and likely with good reason. You are up to the task, and there is plenty of help and support out there for the asking.                

 

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Molly A. Isaacs-McLeod is a co-founder of Parents of Gifted Students, Inc., a support and resource group for families of gifted children (POGS on Facebook). She is a SENG Model Parent Group facilitator. Ms. Isaacs-McLeod is an attorney and provides advocacy and mediation services working with families and schools to develop plans of action to accommodate gifted students. She homeschools her gifted sons.  

Helpful Resources for Raising and Education Your Gifted Child 

Hoagies Gifted 

Parents of Gifted Students 

Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted