Please share!
Just a few years ago, there was one word that I dared not speak aloud. There was something going on in my life that I was too scared to speak of. Looking back, I didn’t even realize myself what was happening. I was struggling. I was in a dark hole that I could not seem to pull myself out of. I couldn’t say it to my husband, I couldn’t even admit it to myself until much later.
Depression.
The Lord has done a great work in my life and I can now share ~ with hope ~ about my times in the valley and my times of deep darkness. I share because I know there are many of you that struggle, too. I share because when we are open and authentic with one another, we encourage one another. So many have encouraged me along this journey, and I pray that I can encourage you as well. When we go through anything difficult in this life, I truly believe a big part of God’s plan is that we share with one another so we can encourage and lift one another up.
These are but a few small steps in my journey.
This is the path He has given.
This is the place I find myself.
And it’s also where I am learning to find Him.
Here…in the now . . . where He has me, learning to find hope in the darkness.7 years ago my life took a dramatic turn. At the time, I thought things had horribly gone wrong. I was living in a darkness that I had no name for. I was living behind a wall of silence that I didn’t know how to break down.
I didn’t know it at the time, but God was taking my life down a new path…for His purposes. for my good.
When I look back on my life before this time of darkness, I see a different person. A completely different person. I used to think that person was better, more together, happier. I was competent. I was stable. I was accountable. I was dependable. I was responsible.
I didn’t know it at the time, but God was teaching me that in my weakness, He is strong.
I really could not learn that lesson if I had remained competent in my own strength. God had to strip me of what little strength I did have. He had to strip me of all I knew about myself and all I knew about Him. He had to show me that who I thought I was, was not really who He created me to be.
He turned my world upside down.
And today I’m so thankful.
And though I’m thankful, that doesn’t mean the days were easy. Especially as a mom and homeschooler. I had so many days that it was all I could do to get out of bed and make sure my kids had found food. I had days that my husband came home and found me in the bathroom crying, who knows how long I had been there. Those days were so hard. And I’m filled with a lot of guilt about some of that time. But, when God began showing me that He was using this for my good and for His glory, I began to have hope again.
There are times, as a homeschool mom, that you need help. It’s ok to be weak. Remember, in your weakness HE IS STRONG. I think this is something that so many times we are afraid to admit or say out loud…or even afraid to allow ourselves to become. Weak.
Oh, but friend, we are weak. Without Him we are nothing. You do not have to do this alone! Even though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we do not have to fear, for He is with us. Our strength is found in Christ alone. Nothing we can “buck up” and find on our own. It may sound like a bad thing, but it gives me such hope!! I don’t have to find the strength on my own! Praise Him!
If you are struggling today – homeschooling with depression – I want to encourage you to do a few things . . . maybe you only have the strength to do one of these things. God will boost your strength and faith with each step you take.
Tell a friend. Get help. See a counselor or doctor. There is no shame in that.
Tell your husband.
Cry out to God. Minute by minute. Spend time reading, praying and crying through the Psalms. Truly, God did miracles in my heart as I prayed the Psalms aloud to Him during this time.
Get outside for 10 minutes each day. Minimum.
Try to go on a walk every day. It can be short. But try.
Don’t feel guilty if your kids are watching another movie.
If someone asks what they can do, let them prepare a meal for your family. Let them take your kids for the afternoon. Let them in to your life. You will be blessed AND they will be blessed. I promise.
Make time for yourself ~ girls nights, date nights, a trip to the bookstore alone
For more encouragement, come read my 5 Days of Homeschooling with Depression.
For 31 days of encouragement, subscribe to my blog and receive an ebook I created just for you.
Even as I write this post, I am praying for you. Yes, you. I know there are moms struggling and suffering alone and in silence. I’m praying that the Lord will use these words I’ve written here to encourage you to speak to someone, ask for help, cry out to the Lord. He doesn’t want you to suffer alone!!
This guest post was written by Candace Crabtree. She blogs over at His Mercy is New.
***
Please share!
