Teaching Teens with ADHD How to Drive

Let’s get started. And if you happen to have wondered by this article and your teen doesn’t have ADHD, these tips will be helpful for them as well. But our primary focus is with teaching teens with ADHD.

Start Early and Start with Conversations

You can begin teaching your teen with ADHD how to drive long before he is old enough to get a learner’s permit, and I highly recommend that you do. I started with Ben around age 14. As you drive with your teen in the car, begin to strike up conversations about the laws of the road. And help him reason through why these laws are in place. Of course, safety is a major factor. But there’s also logic behind them. Start speaking aloud what you’re doing while driving and why you’re doing it. Point out that you are looking farther up the road than the car in front of you and why. Talk about why you are changing lanes, slowing down, speeding up, stopping at a crosswalk, turning right on red, or taking an alternate route during rush hour. 

• There’s ice on the road and the vehicle starts to slide . . . what do you do?
• The vehicle in front of you darts through a yellow light, and you’re right behind it. What should you do?
• You’re running behind for an appointment. What are some steps to take before getting into the vehicle?
• Your vehicle gets a flat tire while driving. How do you handle this?
• There’s a passenger who is distracting you while driving. What are options to handle this?
• You notice a driver sitting in your blind spot. How do you handle that. What if a driver is tailgating you?

Hire a Driving Instructor

Teaching any teen to drive is not for the faint of heart. Teaching a teen with ADHD how to drive can literally feel like you’re going to have an anxiety attack on a daily basis. If this is something you may not be able to handle well, it’s a good idea to rely on someone else. I did the majority of Ben’s driving instruction, but there were a few things that made me more nervous than others – driving on the expressway (65 mph never seemed so fast!) and driving downtown (we live in a large-ish city) were among them. So, I hired a defensive driving instructor to give Ben 4 lessons (2 hours each). She did the hard stuff with her passenger side brake ready to help and I focused on the city and suburban driving, where it seemed less risky.

Other options may include your spouse, another family member, or a trusted close friend. In any case, think about what’s best for your teen with ADHD. He or she will need an adult who can remain calm and be an encouragement. This is not the task to hand off to the anxious or short-tempered parent or family member. 

Practice, Practice, Practice

 Your state will dictate the minimum amount of time your student will need to practice driving under a permit with an adult present in the car. But remember, a minimum is just that.

Give Your Teen with ADHD Plenty of  Time in the Driver’s Seat

It is likely your teen with ADHD will need to have more practice than the minimum. In our state, once the written permit test was passed, the student driver has to wait 6 months to test for a licence. During that 6 months, he must get 60 hours of driving completed, including 10 nighttime hours. Ben spent 9 months with his permit and had well over 100 hours of driving instruction. This wasn’t because he wasn’t doing well. He’s actually (and truth be told, surprisingly) a really good driver. But he knew his own limitations and was not 100% confident after just 6 months. So it was his own decision to get more experience with me in the car with him. You may need to assess this yourself, depending on how self-aware your student is, but never feel rushed to move him into driving alone before you are BOTH ready.

Let Your Teen Be Your Chauffeur 

Allow your student to drive any time you’re both in the car, and for at least 20 minutes at a time. This will help train his focus and attention while driving, as well as giving him more experience in different driving scenarios. As I’ve already mentioned, the more time they have to practice with you, the better.  

• Begin by explaining that you’re going to make suggestions that they need to pay attention to. These aren’t optional. You have the responsibility to teach them. 
• Have a Plan B. This is a simple plan whereby if it gets too intense and someone’s about to lose their cool, anyone can call Plan B and the lesson is over. 
• In the beginning, keep to the easiest driving routes and those most familiar. We started in large parking lots where there was plenty of empty space, park roads during off-hours, and our neighborhood streets. Once you build confidence with their ability to handle the car in these places, slowly begin to expand your route. Layer your lessons. Keep to the most familiar roads in the beginning.
• Always stay as calm as possible, but when those moments come where you’ll need to scream, “BRAKE!,” apologize for yelling and continue on. This will likely happen. Perhaps more than once. It will upset your teen. He may even refuse to drive with you for a day or two. It’s okay. Explain why you were scared. Use it as a teaching moment. Apologize again for yelling. Forgive yourself.
• Pray. Pray for your driver, pray for safety, pray for strong communication skills.

• First, you’ll be glad they can do that errand for you. Yay!
• Second, you’ll recall that bad driving habit they have and worry. Boo!
• Then you’ll convince yourself they’ll be just fine. Whew!
• Suddenly you’ll remember all the people on the road who can’t drive. Gasp!
• You’ll leave it in God’s hands. Pray. 

More than anything, be encouraging and supportive of your teen driver. And patient. Remember that things may take longer or be harder. But just like everything else, you will get through it together. Make sure he knows and believes that. Ben has been driving now for two years without any speeding tickets and the only minor accident he was involved in was not his fault. There is hope for your teen with ADHD to become an excellent driver, too.