You wake up one morning and things are (frustratingly) different. And out of nowhere you might hear a familiar little tune followed by the words: “Welcome to the Twilight Zone”. Then you envision a camera zooming in on your confused, questioning eyes. And you ask yourself, “What has happened to my teen?!” For all the efforts of teaching your teen how to be responsible and thorough with daily routines, no one would ever know it. Dear mommas, we need to talk about our friend the frontal lobe. And how to turn teen executive functioning challenges into brilliant successes.
Frontal Lobe Frontier
Oh yes, it’s like a whole new frontier! While this is the “most important part of the brain”, it’s the last part to develop. For this reason, our teens have a challenging time weighing some actions, judging situations, foreseeing consequences, and making mature decisions. I know… didn’t we just get through the toddler years and roller coaster preteen years? Have mercy!
But all is not lost! Because our teens have us to help be their frontal lobes until they’re fully developed. As we advise them as needed, explain things when necessary, and act as good and positive role models, we become super useful to them and those pesky frontal lobes.
How to Overcome Teen Executive Functioning Challenges
So, let’s address a few of the “regions” we’ll be constantly revisiting in the new frontier, and some ideas for how to overcome a few of the most common teen executive functioning challenges caused by them.
Emotional Skills
As you’re probably already aware, your teen may be somewhat emotional. Often times it can happen at the drop of a pin and throw you for a loop. But this isn’t so much a hormone issue as it is a different reaction to hormones. The following explains what’s going on:
The problem with this theory is that teenagers don’t have higher hormone levels than young adults—they just react differently to hormones. The Teenage Brain ©2015 by Frances E. Jensen and Amy Ellis Nutt, p. 21.
So, what’s a mom to do? To begin with, never assume your teen has the executive functioning skills in this area that may be required to have control over strong emotions. While you’ve likely watched your teen grow and change and mature over the past couple of years, sometimes there are areas that lag a bit behind, and handling emotions is an area that typically does exactly that. What can we do? Until they mature into this executive function, we can help our teens identify the emotions they’re feeling and why they are feeling them, brainstorm ways to control them, and help them figure out what their strongest triggers are. Or sometimes it’s a good idea to have them take a breather and then come back to talk about it. If you haven’t figured out the miracle that is a hot shower when you have an angry teen, please do give that a try. You’re welcome.
Seeing Tasks Through
Certainly, the struggle to see tasks through is applicable to personal growth, education, chores, work, and other responsibilities. And without a doubt, this struggle ties into the challenge teens have with decision making.
Below are some ways that our teens can struggle with tasks:
- Choosing what task to begin with.
- Deciding when to start the task they choose.
- Establishing a minimum work time.
As mommas, we can help them by sitting down and discussing with them about what they need to accomplish and what is necessary to accomplish a task. Then, we can help them prioritize. And we can help them gauge a time frame in which to work. Additionally, we can help them figure out if it’s a long-term or short-term task. Lastly, we can check in with them throughout the day for accountability and encouragement. In this way, our teens will be on the road to success in this area!
Improving Study Skills
While distractions may be a struggle for your teen, it doesn’t mean that the ability to learn has plummeted. Hooray! In fact, the memories of teens can be tremendous:
“…memories are easier to make and last longer when acquired in teen years compared with adult years. This is a fact that should not be ignored! This is the time to identify strengths and invest in emerging talents.” The Teenage Brain ©2015 by Frances E. Jensen and Amy Ellis Nutt, p. 79.
Is that encouraging news or what?! So, learning isn’t necessarily an issue. Therefore, your teen may just needs some guidance in and practice with study skills. Here are some things you can help your teen get on the road to success in this area:
- Read the text aloud to “listen” to what’s being said.
- Go over notes again.
- Have a highlighter ready for the text and notes.
- If there’s a study guide, read through it.
- Rewriting notes can help to wire in the information.
- Have your teen tell back information to you in his or her own words.
Consistency and Flexibility
Our teens can have difficulty with both consistency and flexibility. Indeed, they need consistency in order to be able to follow through, wire things in, and reach goals. However, as well all know too well, we sometimes need to adjust. After all, emergent things happen. And sometimes flexibility is key to success in those instances.
So, definitely have those priorities laid out as mentioned earlier. Additionally, you can help your teen succeed with the area of flexibility in these ways:
- Have a Plan B for fitting in time to get to those lower priorities.
- Ask, “Is this a big or little deal?” instead of stressing over changes in plans.
- Try to think of a positive way to think about the situation.
To overcome executive functioning challenges in your teens, focus on these activities to improve their emotional management skills, promote accountability with task completion, and encourage consistency and flexibility with real-life situations and routines (such as study skills).
And momma . . . be sure you’re taking care of your self. Brain drain is a real thing, and it’s hard enough practicing your own executive functioning. When you’re doing that times two (or three or four, depending on how many teens you have), it can be overwhelming. Share the journey with your partner, take breaks when you need to, but stay consistent. Your hard work will pay off in the end, both for you and your teen(s).
