Do you know someone who is having a tough time lately? So often we are mired down with our own struggles, or busy day-to-day lives, we don’t take the time to look around and notice that our friends are struggling. I’ve been on both sides of that equation in the past couple of years — I’ve been the one who is struggling, and I’ve been the one who has a friend who is struggling while I’ve been too focused on myself.
The struggle can be anything — her own physical or mental struggles, a difficult child, a tough marriage, financial hardship, a recent loss. Perhaps her husband travels a lot or is deployed. Maybe you don’t even know what the struggles are, but you’ve felt the distance that often comes when someone is having a hard time.
I’ve been thinking for a bit about what I can do for my friends who may be struggling, and came up with this list. I hope you find it helpful as you consider blessing a friend who is struggling as well. Here are 5 ways to support your struggling friend.
Fellowship
She may need your listening ear more than anything else. Call, email, send a sweet letter. Open the lines of communication. Let her know you are there.
Show up at her house with a cup of her favorite latte from Starbucks as well as a movie and a snack for the kids. Then just sit and chat and listen and drink coffee together. Call ahead if that’s what she would want.
Invite her and the kids to your house for a play date. Or go to a park where the kids can run while you sit together on a bench and talk.
Hire a sitter for all of the kids and take her to lunch. Or a movie. Or to a museum. Anywhere, just the two of you.
Text her a message that you are praying for her. Send a meaningful Scripture, too.
Try never to say no if she calls and needs you. Most people find it difficult to ask for help. If she reaches out, do everything in your power to help her.
Food
Take her family a meal. Maybe even do it once a week.
Make up a bunch of freezer slow cooker meals and stock her freezer. Or offer to come over and prepare meals with her.
Offer to do her grocery shopping.
Purchase some gift cards for local restaurants. Bonus if they deliver.
Invite her family to dinner at your house (or out to dinner if that’s better). If there are lots of kids, pizza and sweet tea is cheap and doable for most.
Fun
Offer to take her kids for a fun activity to give her a break. Bonus if you give her a gift certificate for a pedicure, massage or haircut to use at the same time.
Give her a gift you know she’ll love — music, a book, chocolate. Anything you know will make her feel special. Send her flowers. A journal with some lovely pens might make her day.
Throw her a surprise party for her birthday.
Family
Offer to take all but one of the kids once a week, so she has concentrated time with just one child at a time. Yes, even the difficult one — even if you know it will be a hard few hours. Remember, she is dealing with the difficult child every day. You can manage a few hours.
Take her kids for the weekend so that she and her husband can connect.
Gift her with a family membership to the zoo or a museum. Sometimes the stuggles are financial, and something like a zoo membership is an amazing gift in that circumstance.
Forgive
It may be that your friend has not been the best friend she could have been. Forgive her. Know that it’s not about you, it’s about her circumstances. Sometimes when life is hard, she may not have the energy to put forth to nurture her friendships.
What other ideas do you have for supporting a struggling friend?
Are you struggling yourself? I would love to pray for you.
