Recently, a local homeschool mom was asking for support after announcing she was pregnant with baby number 4 in 5 years. Apparently her extended family was not very excited. One person even said this to her:
God created birth control, too. Why wouldn’t you use it?
I was shocked. In fact, my actual response was, “Wow! Where is that in Scripture?”
It might seem odd to you that I, the mom of an only, would have an opinion in this matter. In fact, for many years I was bombarded with questions indicating the opposite reaction to our family size:
“Are you only going to have one?”
“When are you going to adopt again?”
My answers have included “I hope to have more,” “we have tried to adopt again, several times, but it hasn’t worked out” and “if God wants us to have more children, then we will. We are doing everything we can.”
I have an opinion about this because it is one of those things that once again makes me think long and hard about Truth. People are so quick to make judgments about what God wants or even what He says (about more than just family size) without seeking to find out what His Word actually says. This is what He says about having babies:
Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them . . . ~Psalm 127:3-5
I have searched, and I can find nowhere in scripture where it even comes close to saying God made birth control and desires for us to use it to manage the number of blessings we ought to receive. The Psalmist clearly tells us that children are a REWARD from him. How sad it is that we don’t understand that more fully.
No, God did not create birth control. He created humans, who became scientists, who figured out which combination of synthetic hormones could interfere with ovulation or implantation. Think about that idea for just a moment — “interfering with implantation.” That means a baby may have been created but was unable to implant. Some would say that’s not much different than abortion.
I would dare say that many families are not receiving the blessings, the heritage, God intended for their family, because of the use of birth control. Sometimes, He actually desires for a family to have 5, 8, 12 or even 20 children.
And sometimes just one little boy.
We must be very careful when speaking about what we think God wants for others. And we must be very careful about speaking unkindly to pregnant women about the precious babies they are growing. Or to moms who have adopted one and had hoped for more. Words can hurt so deeply.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ~Ephesians 4:29
Each of us is charged with working out our own salvation with fear and trembling. None of us is charged with doing that for others. Especially not when one of the others is carrying a blessing straight from God.